Chopsticks
by KyraLawliet
Summary: Your name is Aradia Megido, and you are currently trying to teach your boyfriend Sollux Captor how to use the wonderful human irony that is chopsticks. You can't seem to get over how adorable he looks when he's confused, though. AraSol fluff/oneshot


**Okay so Sollux's quirk for the I's (like double ii) is impossible for me to write out constantly, and plus, how would you say that? :o sorrrryyy!  
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** - Be the rather optimistic adventurer troll girl**

Your name is Aradia Megido, and you need to find something for you and your matesprite Sollux to eat tonight!

It shouldn't take long to narrow down the choices, mostly because Alternia in general doesn't have many restaurants or food establishments. You just have the basic needs kind of shops here and there, and a few entertainment districts. To be honest, it's kind of run down in your eyes. Many other lands are more prosperous than this. Well, that you've witnessed in your many adventures and quests.  
There isn't anything fancy here like in that Earth planet or anything Karkat keeps telling you about, but you can barely listen to him from all of the yelling! Doesn't he realize that peace and quiet is sometimes good for people? In a sense, you'd rather be dead than have to suffer through another one of his rants.

You are getting off subject here, but you really have no choice but to decide now. You could go on the ironic case of the close-by Chinese restaurant, which you assume sounds decent. You're not sure what this "Chinese" word means, but judging that you know a fairly wide and complex vocabulary, it must be a human term. You must certainly ask your human friend Jade about this later in your travels.

You would, on instinct, hop into a dream bubble and pop right over to the place, but that sure does require lots of energy just for food! And you already are drained from the constant time warps, so eating sure does sound grand at the moment. Walking down the street seems like a pretty calming way to get there quickly! Perhaps if you make it seem like an adventure, you will get there faster!

** - Aradia: Pretend you are troll Indiana Jones and adventure down to the exciting new place!**

After fast walking down the street and hiding from unsuspecting travelers, you and your ultra-adventurer self finally made it to the highly awaited building.  
"Okay, enough playing around, I'm starving!" You sighed to yourself quietly and hurried inside. The door was painted a rustic red, with fancy gold plating and carvings, as well as the hallway to the register. Weird beasts were stoned in a dark gold paint and placed in several different spots throughout the room. There were also weird symbols marked on the walls and select items, but for some reason you didn't quite understand them.  
This sure is a weird place, are you sure that you're still in Alternia?  
Of course you are! You think you would remember moving all the way down to another planet!  
This place sure does seem kind of familiar in a sense, though. Perhaps you were here in a past life!

"Hello! Will you be dining inside this evening?" You looked ahead at the tall female behind the desk. She was rather pretty, and had the same kind of horns you did.  
Probably not related to you in any way, though.  
But what do you know? You're not the ecto-biologist expert here!  
"Oh, no. I need to order take-out, if that's possible." You finally replied, but then mentally smacked yourself in the face.  
Of course it's possible! Why would you even ask that if you already knew the answer?

"Of course, just point out the things on this menu you would like and we will pack them up for you." She reached behind her and picked up a laminated piece of paper, then smiled and handed it to you.  
She seemed pretty friendly, actually. Perhaps you should start eating here more.

You proceeded to pick out what you think Sollux would like- trying to refrain from anything honey related. He's told you countless times to never touch or eat the "mind honey", but you still have no idea what that is, so you guess you should both just stay away from any form of the weird substance in entirety.

After pointing out what you wanted, you drifted into your own thoughts of adventure. It was quickly cut short by the revelation that you haven't watched Troll Indiana Jones in over a month! You really should watch that sometime soon to regain the suspense and action! Maybe you could somehow convince Sollux to watch it with you, or maybe even invite Tavros over- wherever he is.

"Here you go, darling." You unfroze from your thoughts and looked back; the girl was now holding a large bag full of food- that smelled deliciously good. You took it with a pleased look and quickly paid her with the large amount of boonbucks you gathered from helping Terezi with her investigations.  
According to her, you were "4 R34LLY GOOD 1NT3RROG4TOR" and should "S3ND MY V1CT1MS T0 TH31R TR4G1C H4NG1NGS SOME MORE SOON"  
Perhaps you should, now that you think about it. But now is definitely not the time! You have a hungry boyfriend to get to and you're pretty hungry yourself!  
Maybe now is the time to finally put your time powers to work, and get their faster. I mean, you don't have all day you know! It's not like you're 'maid of time'!

** - Aradia: Enough with that bad puns and do the timey thing already!**

You oblige to your sub-conscience whims and indeed "do the timey thing", whatever that may mean. You escape this bubble and move on to the one right outside Sollux's hive, making sure it is indeed his hive first. Last time you did this you somehow ended up at Vriska's hive, and that didn't exactly end well.

You quickly appeared in front of the door, bag in hand, and knocked. "Soooolllux!" You said it in almost a singing tone, and you were quite proud of yourself for some strange reason.  
The door opened and the slightly taller, shaggy haired, geeky boy you are madly in love with appeared with a slight smile on his face. "Finally! Did you get thome good food?"  
You nodded, "Of course! At least, I think I did… I just picked the food that seemed to sound pretty good."  
"Well I'm thtarving, tho come on in." He moved over and held the door out a bit more for you, taking the bags out of your hands along the way.  
Whew, what a gentlemen, right?

You moved over to his kitchen area and sat down at the table with a big grin on your face. He followed in back of you and gave you a weird look, "What?"  
"Oh, nothing, just glad to see you're taking a break from all that coding and virus stuff Karkat has you doing. But, you look like you haven't slept in ages!" You giggled slightly and the smallest hint of yellow blush formed across his cheeks. How adorable.

"Well you are right about that," he sighed a bit, "I haven't gotten thleep in like…" he looked at the oven timer, "at leatht two dayth." His lisp was sometimes hard to get around, but you make it your mission to never question it or make fun of him for it. Plus, it's kinda cute!  
"You poor thing! Well, I'm here now, so I say we eat and then you finally go to bed." You started unpacking some of the containers, and you were mesmerized at the sudden aroma of the food you had ordered.  
"But KK'th co-" You looked him dead in the eye and began to do what humans call a 'puppy dog face', "Pleeeeeaasse?" You proceeded to get up and stand in front of him, slightly hunched over and holding onto your skirt while looking at him. He finally gave in once you got close enough. "Fine. No more coding tonight," He sighed. You grinned and moved sharply towards him to peck his lips against yours for thanks. His yellow tint on his cheeks got awfully brighter, and it made you smile a lot more than you already were at the sight of it.  
He always has a weak spot for your lips, so you use that as rewards an awful lot. Not a good habit, you suppose.

"Okay! So, just kinda grab what you want! I ordered a lot!" You put your hands out at the food as if you were one of those models on those game shows showing "fabulous prizes". He did so, stuffing his plate with plenty of the food.  
You did so too. You couldn't just let your rumbling stomach get away from this deliciousness!

** - Aradia: Feast on the blood of your enemies!**

Blood of my enemies? Why on Alternia would I feast on blood…? That's such a weird thing to do! Well, perhaps not for Kanaya….

** - Aradia: Stop thinking and eat already.**

Now that you can do! About time, too. You felt like you were going to pass out!  
Grabbing your plate, you sit down across from Sollux at the table, and watch him try to figure out what was missing from the whole equation. He looked up and down continuously from the table, you, and the plates of food. A sudden snap in his brain caused him to supposedly think of it.  
"Oh, we need forkth." Of course, how could you forget?

He got up and went over to his dishwasher. With a scowl, he turned back to you and sighed, "Thoooo… I don't have any." He gave to a hesitant kind of 'I'm guilty' smile. You looked at him quizzically, "Why?"  
"Long thtory, but they were needed for an experiment."  
You're not sure if you want to push on further with that statement or just disregard it. You're not even sure if you want to know what kind of experiments he could use with forks nonetheless think about it.

"Oh thit, no! Nothing bad! Jutht for technology pupotheth." He raised his hands out, signaling that he genuinely didn't mean how it came out to be.  
"Oh, uh, okay! Hehe. Well, we do have chopsticks here!" You got up and casually skipped towards the partly empty bag sitting on the other table, and pulled out two packs of wrapped up wooden sticks.  
"What the hell are chopsthtickth?" He turns his head slightly out of confusion. You end up giggling at the way his lisp made that word sound.  
Looking back at them, you aren't exactly sure how to explain them. "I don't know where I remember learning this, but they are like…. These little wooden sticks that some humans use to eat their multi-cultural food I guess."  
"Why would they need to uthe thothe things? Why can't they jutht uthe forkth?"  
"Probably because some humans have the same problem you do with keeping an adequate number of utensils in a hive."

That shut him up about the subject. You took them out and gave two of them to him. He hesitantly took both in two different hands, and stared at them. "What do I do with them? Thtab the food?"

** - Aradia: Show this boy how to use the weird human utensil.**

Will do!  
You moved closer to him, taking the pair with you. With one of the sticks, you put it between your thumb and middle finger. Just with this he seems a bit lost, but with a few more observations of your fingers, he soon gets it and mimics you. "Then you get the other chopstick!" You held the other one up with your free hand, and he did the same, still mesmerized at the fact that you can do this. You gripped it between your thumb and index finger, slightly above the previous one.

"Damn Aradia, how did you know to do thith?" He was having slight difficulty getting it into proportion, and it constantly flailed back as if it wanted to stab him in the throat.  
"Not sure! Perhaps my ancestors could do it!" You both laughed slightly, and then he nodded his head. "Maybee! But thith ith a weird thing to pick up on…" He stared at his now completely deformed hand, fingers strewn across different areas of the chopsticks.  
"I suppose it is. Okay, I really need to help you here." You proceeded to help your completely lost boyfriend, and you eventually managed to make him hold it in the most perfect way possible!

"Okay! Now just start clamping your index finger and thumb together a bit." Perhaps you should have shown him- he looked terribly confused again. He starts to curl up both of the fingers together, somehow getting that out of what you said.  
How would you explain this to someone else you knew?  
"Hmmm, oh! Just act like Karkat! Pretend you are a crab- but only use these two fingers!" You held up both to show him, and to your surprise, this actually managed to get him to do it. He started to laugh a bit uncontrollably, though. He made nagging noises and started to say random cusswords a lot. Perhaps he's a better Karkat imitator than you imagined.

"Oh man, you thould be a teacher. Or at leatht make people give you money to make fun of KK." You smiled, "I'll take those professions into consideration! Hehe. Anyways! You can do it now! Now it's time to eat!"  
You both sat back down at the table with your plates out, and he looked back at you with a worried face. "Darling, just do what I showed you! Act like Karkat and just put the food in between the two of them! Like this!" You picked up a piece of orange chicken and put it in front of his mouth, waiting for him to open. He did so, and you grinned widely as he smirked at you with food in his mouth. Once he swallowed it (you made sure), you leaned over the table and kissed him once again, this time both of you sort of giggling while doing so. Once you pulled back, he looked confident enough to try.

"Okay, I got thith." He picked the chopsticks back up and placed a piece of broccoli between them. Within seconds he had successfully gotten it into his mouth and swallowed it. "Congratulations! Hehe." You giggled.  
You really are a pretty good teacher, huh?

** - Aradia and Sollux: Enjoy your entire meal finally.**

And that you did. It was rather fun, to be honest! It's not every day you get to teach the boy who knows everything about technology something! Too bad it isn't exactly life-changing or helping, but who knows? He still doesn't have a strife specibi like most of us do; perhaps he'll start using a chopstick specibi!  
Now you would love to see that.

"It's already eleven, I should probably go." You yawned a bit and sat up from the seat. Sollux looked down a bit, saddened, and then raised his arm in retaliation. "No, wait!" You looked at him puzzlingly.  
"You can thtay here if you want. I did promithe you I wouldn't code anymore tonight."  
You blushed a bit, you could tell, and then proceeded to smile a bit too largely. "Sounds perfect!" You skipped over to your matesprite and unexpectedly almost tackled him in a hug.

"Okay, okay, god you like hugging. If you could thtop for like two minuteth, I will let you hug me in my bed." Of course, you could never refuse that offer! It's not every day that stubborn boy lets you cuddle with him!  
You both put all of the food away and you quickly followed him into his bedroom to lie down on his bed.

**- Aradia: Cuddle with this boy immediately until you both fall asleep.**

Of course you will! There's nothing you love more than to do this!  
Well, you guess watching him make a fool of himself by trying to learn about chopsticks was pretty great too. Perhaps you should do this again next time.

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**Like a week after I wrote this edit: i got my chinese food c:  
Edit: ahahaha i fixed some stuff  
and also, sorry about some of the perspectives being off! ;o;  
wow what, an actual heterosexual fanfiction written by me? How unexpected!**  
**Anyways look at how OOC these adorable little creatures are I mean really**  
**I'm sorry i tried**  
**this spur of the moment story was brought to you by my intense craving for Chinese food and some arasol fanfictions.**  
**Sadly, I didn't find many stories for this one pairing, so bam, here's this to satisfy my craving! (I still don't have Chinese food :[ )**  
**But, I hope you like this quickly written draft, and I hope you guys will be generous enough as to review or favorite or something to tell me how I did! Cause I feel like I need to write more of my shippings- not just DaveJohn *cough cough***


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